SHE WAS SO SPECIAL AND YET IN SO MUCH PAIN THAT ONLY THE NARCOTICS THAT SHE PURCHASED OR WERE GIVEN TO HERE COULD EASE IT. AT 16 MY SISTER BEGAN A JOURNEY THAT LANDED HER IN PLACES THAT NO ONE COULD IMAGINE. SHE USE TO TAKE ME EVERY WHERE WITH HER AND THAT'S HOW I FOUND OUT. MA USE TO MAKE HER TAKE ME AT FIRST THEN AFTER ABOUT A MONTH IT WAS JUST NATURAL. I GUESS SHE WASN'T TRYING TO LET ME SEE OUR MOTHER DRUNK AND FALLING ON THE FLOOR.WE'D GO TO HOUSE PARTIES EVERY WEEKEND. SHE'D JUST DRESS ME UP LIKE A LITTLE MIDGET PUT A HAT ON ME AND TELL EVERYONE I WAS HER DATE EVERYBODY EXCEPT CLOSE FRIENDS KNEW WHO I WAS,BUT BY THE END OF MOST NIGHTS EVERYONE HAD FIGURED IT OUT BECAUSE I WOULD EVENTUALLY BE A SLEEP IN SOME BODY'S BEDROOM OR ON A COUCH. FOR YEARS HER FRIENDS CALLED ME MIDGET MAN. I GUESS DURING THAT TIME I WAS HER BUFFER THE REASON SHE DIDN'T USE TO EXCESS BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GET ME HOME.SO ABOUT 2 YEARS LATER T ALL STARTED TO FALL APART AND SHE JUST STARTED USING REGULAR AND WE JUST GREW DISTANT FROM ONE ANOTHER SHE DID TIME IN JAIL ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS, WHICH BY THEN HAD BECOME A RITE OF PASSAGE FOR MOST YOUNG ADULTS. NEVER SPOKE OF BY PARENTS BUT ACKNOWLEDGE WE AS THEY USE TO SAY " SHE'S ON THAT SHIT". I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO EXPLAIN IT TO OUR MOTHER WHEN I WAS 12 I THINK BECAUSE PERIODICALLY SHE'D COME HOME TO EITHER GET CLEANED UP OR JUST CHILL. THE DAY I FOUND THE MATCH STICKS ,SODA BOTTLE CAP AND COTTON IN THE TOILET I KNEW THAT SHE WAS ALL THE WAY GONE. MY MOM DE NEIGHED IT AND I GOT A ASS WHIPPING FOR EVEN SAYING THAT,I JUST WANTED TO HELP MY SISTER AND I THOUGHT MA WOULD. BUT SHE DIDN'T AND IT WAS JUST SOMETHING THAT WAS NEVER DISCUSSED. I'D WATCH MY SISTER STRUGGLE FOR YEARS AND AT 29 SHE GOT MARRIED BUT HE WAS DOING THE SAME THING SHE WAS THEY BOTH HID IT FOR A MOMENT BUT WE KNEW. THEY HAD A BABY AND FOR A WHILE EVERYTHING WAS COOL UNTIL HE GOT CLEAN AND SHE WAS STILL DOING IT. THEY DEVORCES AFTER 6 YEARS AND THE BOY LARRY LIVED WITH HIS FATHER, WHO IN HIS OWN RIGHT WAS AS DISFUNCTIONAL AS SHE WAS. ITS BEEN OVER 20 SOME YEARS SINCE I HAVE SEEN HIM AND STILL T THIS DAY I WONDER HOW HE IS. ABOUT 8 YEARS AGO HE SHOWED UP AT GRANNYS I WASN'T THERE HE HAD JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL, HAD A WIFE AND A NEW BORN AND WAS DOING OK. OUR CULTURE SUFFERS SO WHEN FAMILYS DON'T STAY IN TACT ONE PARENT HOMES BREED A ONE WAY TICKET TO JAIL IN SO MANY CASES AND MEN ARE NOT THERE TO BE REAL FATHERS AND MOTHERS STRUGGLE TO RISE MEN AND SO MANY OF US SLIP THRU THE CRACKS. WE SAY THAT COCAINE CAUSED MOST OF IT BUT I FEEL IF THAT WERE TRUE THEN HEROIN WAS THE CATAPULT THAT DROVE SO MUCH OF OUR SOCIETY TO THE PLACE THAT WE ARE AT NOW. I KNOW WE DIDN'T HAVE THE BOATS OR PLANES TO BRING THAT SHIT HERE. NO BLACK MAN EVER GOT RICH FRON SEELING NORCOTICS AND STAYED ALIVE AND OUT OF JAIL THIS SYSTEM IS NOT DESIGHED FOR THAT. WE ARE GIVEN DREAMS THRU MOVIES LIKE SCAREFACE, PAID IN FULL, AMERICAN GANGSTER,AND BELLY. TO MAKE USE BELIEVE THAT AN EDUCATION IS NOT IMPORTANT AND THAT OUR ONLY WAY OUT OF THE STRUGGLE IS TO EITHER PICK UP A BAG OF DRUGS OR A FOOTBALL AND BY THE TIME WE REALIZE THIS ISN'T TRUE YOU ARE STATE PROPERTY. BUT I DIGESS BACK TO MY SISTER
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