If you remember the year nelson mandela got released and mike tyson got knocked out that was the same year I lost my mother and my dam sanity.I was already up on charges and like most youngsters back then I said fuck the police let them come get we we will settle it in the streets but unlike most of my peers I was serious. So I kept doing what I do slinging them things and making paper couldn't do but so much because I already knew the warrant squad was out for me. Don't get this twisted I wasn't scareface, bumpy johnson or frank lucas. Truth be told I was an ordinary drug dealer scrambling for a dollar like every other fool at that time. Society had glorified what was a quiet hustle that men did to get by and some of my peers put themselves out there with flash. So on that night I had spent with my mother had started spending allot of time with her lately as the alcoholism had begun to take it's toll and I was the only one around to care for her, her boyfriend whom she loved was a drunk so it was like living with the virus he fed her and they seemed happy.Until I just got tired one night and put the iron to his mother fucking head and told him he had to leave. That's how I basically wound up staying there out of guilt and love, I'd go out during the night and be home with her during the day. Funny how you remember things as you get older in looking back I should have sent her to the hospital but I knew in my heart she was not going to be around to much longer. So we settled in to some type of routine and as she got worse I became the parent and she became the child, we excepted or roles and things went on good for awhile that dam woman must have had brought a 10 month supply of booze because evrytime i thought i got the last bottle she'd have another. Moms most have been some kin to Houdini or something. So about the middle of January i didn't want to go anywhere that night so i stayed at mom's place with her making sure she kept away from any alcohol and taking her medication about 9 that night that knock came out the door we all have heard it before BAMM BAMM BAMM POLICE!!!!!!!. U turned off all the lights was a little scared and if any mother fucker every tells you went you hear that knock that they are not scared that's a lie.After calming myself and listening to them holler that they were going to break the door in I found moms bottle and took a drink and made up my mind that i wasn't going. I knew she wouldn't last without me and she was all I truly loved at the time so I dug in the back of the closet pulled out the sawed off shot gun and got the emergency 38 i kept there took 7 of her pain pills with a big glass of gin laid the guns on the floor went in the room and told my mother what was going on. Told her i wasn't going and we were going to be alright she asked what i was going to do I told her go back to sleep I would take care of it. I went to the kitchen and blew out the pilots in the stove and turn the gas on and waited . These fools were still knocking I had one more drink and took 2 more of her pills. My intentions were to shoot thru the mother fucking door and let it all take it's natural course. I know insane huh? but when you do not have much in this world to love you truly wanna keep it with you forever and she was all I had. Funny thing how mothers always know when there kids are screwing up she staggered out to where I was in the hallway on the floor and begged me with tears in her eyes to please not to do this and go with them quietly. A MAN CAN NEVER TURN DOWN HIS MOTHER, so after about 15 minutes of her crying and the pills and booze had finally kicked in , I gave in and turn the gas off helped her back to the bed put the shot gun back in the closet and hid the 38 under the sink. I was high as hell and opened the door punk bitches threw me against the wall and hand cuffed me. As they were talking all that mess I was thinking in my mind was this the right decision. As they were taking me out I told me my mother was asleep and could i tell her good bye, after a few a moments they conceded and let me see her she just looked up at me and with tears in my eyes I kissed her good bye.I cried as they walked me out and one of the detectives said do we need to call an ambulance for her I told me no. She won't need it, in the back of my mind I already knew them taking her to a hospital would kill her trying to detox her from alcohol because she was to far gone. In the car that same detective asked me why I didn't show up for court and I told him the truth that my mother was dieing and his reponce was nigger please we hear that same story every time you got to come a whole lot better. 22 days late while i was in jail they called me into the chaplains office to tell me my mother had died. Now hear is where the interesting part comes in 11 months into my incarceration my lawyer comes to see me she says the states attorney wants to talk to you about something. Well some of my known associates thats what they called them commited a few crimes that they felt that they needed some help with and the government felt as though I would be willing to assist them in identifying them. She tells me that atleast I'd get a nice trip back to the city for the day and if i was nice she'd bring me a burger.So I relented and went when i arrived the states attorney along with the detectives who picked me up that night were there, they all told me how sorry they were about my mother's passing even the one who was smart in the car.I knew in my heart that none of them meant it but i went along.Then came the pitch if I could help them they'd try to do something about my time, about this time i had relented to the fact that i didnt give a good dam about ever going home and if you know me I wasn't telling on anybody fuckumm. Then he hits me with if my mother were alive she'd want me to do it and you know he just blow it, so they escort me in the other room with my lawyer who was fine as hell , she liked me because she said I was the first client who ever told the truth and said yes i did. She gave mewhat she promised sat down and read something while i eat and said you ready to go back down the road now because i know you , when he said that b.s. about your mother he was done.I just burst out laughing and said you know me pretty well huh? She said I will tell them and get the oficer to take you back. I said before I go let me tell you how they got me and what was ready to happen and as I told her the story the lok of shock just over rode her to the point she was speeechless after my confession, just ask them when they walked in the house did they smell gas then you will know this is the truth. about a year later she told me they did smell a little gas but never paid attention.I THOUGHT IN MY HEAD IF THEY ONLY KNEW THAT THE LORD HAD THEIR BACK THAT NIGHT
If you remember the year nelson mandela got released and mike tyson got knocked out that was the same year I lost my mother and my dam sanity.I was already up on charges and like most youngsters back then I said fuck the police let them come get we we will settle it in the streets but unlike most of my peers I was serious. So I kept doing what I do slinging them things and making paper couldn't do but so much because I already knew the warrant squad was out for me. Don't get this twisted I wasn't scareface, bumpy johnson or frank lucas. Truth be told I was an ordinary drug dealer scrambling for a dollar like every other fool at that time. Society had glorified what was a quiet hustle that men did to get by and some of my peers put themselves out there with flash. So on that night I had spent with my mother had started spending allot of time with her lately as the alcoholism had begun to take it's toll and I was the only one around to care for her, her boyfriend whom she loved was a drunk so it was like living with the virus he fed her and they seemed happy.Until I just got tired one night and put the iron to his mother fucking head and told him he had to leave. That's how I basically wound up staying there out of guilt and love, I'd go out during the night and be home with her during the day. Funny how you remember things as you get older in looking back I should have sent her to the hospital but I knew in my heart she was not going to be around to much longer. So we settled in to some type of routine and as she got worse I became the parent and she became the child, we excepted or roles and things went on good for awhile that dam woman must have had brought a 10 month supply of booze because evrytime i thought i got the last bottle she'd have another. Moms most have been some kin to Houdini or something. So about the middle of January i didn't want to go anywhere that night so i stayed at mom's place with her making sure she kept away from any alcohol and taking her medication about 9 that night that knock came out the door we all have heard it before BAMM BAMM BAMM POLICE!!!!!!!. U turned off all the lights was a little scared and if any mother fucker every tells you went you hear that knock that they are not scared that's a lie.After calming myself and listening to them holler that they were going to break the door in I found moms bottle and took a drink and made up my mind that i wasn't going. I knew she wouldn't last without me and she was all I truly loved at the time so I dug in the back of the closet pulled out the sawed off shot gun and got the emergency 38 i kept there took 7 of her pain pills with a big glass of gin laid the guns on the floor went in the room and told my mother what was going on. Told her i wasn't going and we were going to be alright she asked what i was going to do I told her go back to sleep I would take care of it. I went to the kitchen and blew out the pilots in the stove and turn the gas on and waited . These fools were still knocking I had one more drink and took 2 more of her pills. My intentions were to shoot thru the mother fucking door and let it all take it's natural course. I know insane huh? but when you do not have much in this world to love you truly wanna keep it with you forever and she was all I had. Funny thing how mothers always know when there kids are screwing up she staggered out to where I was in the hallway on the floor and begged me with tears in her eyes to please not to do this and go with them quietly. A MAN CAN NEVER TURN DOWN HIS MOTHER, so after about 15 minutes of her crying and the pills and booze had finally kicked in , I gave in and turn the gas off helped her back to the bed put the shot gun back in the closet and hid the 38 under the sink. I was high as hell and opened the door punk bitches threw me against the wall and hand cuffed me. As they were talking all that mess I was thinking in my mind was this the right decision. As they were taking me out I told me my mother was asleep and could i tell her good bye, after a few a moments they conceded and let me see her she just looked up at me and with tears in my eyes I kissed her good bye.I cried as they walked me out and one of the detectives said do we need to call an ambulance for her I told me no. She won't need it, in the back of my mind I already knew them taking her to a hospital would kill her trying to detox her from alcohol because she was to far gone. In the car that same detective asked me why I didn't show up for court and I told him the truth that my mother was dieing and his reponce was nigger please we hear that same story every time you got to come a whole lot better. 22 days late while i was in jail they called me into the chaplains office to tell me my mother had died. Now hear is where the interesting part comes in 11 months into my incarceration my lawyer comes to see me she says the states attorney wants to talk to you about something. Well some of my known associates thats what they called them commited a few crimes that they felt that they needed some help with and the government felt as though I would be willing to assist them in identifying them. She tells me that atleast I'd get a nice trip back to the city for the day and if i was nice she'd bring me a burger.So I relented and went when i arrived the states attorney along with the detectives who picked me up that night were there, they all told me how sorry they were about my mother's passing even the one who was smart in the car.I knew in my heart that none of them meant it but i went along.Then came the pitch if I could help them they'd try to do something about my time, about this time i had relented to the fact that i didnt give a good dam about ever going home and if you know me I wasn't telling on anybody fuckumm. Then he hits me with if my mother were alive she'd want me to do it and you know he just blow it, so they escort me in the other room with my lawyer who was fine as hell , she liked me because she said I was the first client who ever told the truth and said yes i did. She gave mewhat she promised sat down and read something while i eat and said you ready to go back down the road now because i know you , when he said that b.s. about your mother he was done.I just burst out laughing and said you know me pretty well huh? She said I will tell them and get the oficer to take you back. I said before I go let me tell you how they got me and what was ready to happen and as I told her the story the lok of shock just over rode her to the point she was speeechless after my confession, just ask them when they walked in the house did they smell gas then you will know this is the truth. about a year later she told me they did smell a little gas but never paid attention.I THOUGHT IN MY HEAD IF THEY ONLY KNEW THAT THE LORD HAD THEIR BACK THAT NIGHT
